Not Afraid To Die! Karin’s Story As A ‘Cancer Carrier’.

by Kim | Apr 4, 2010 | Interviews by Kimspirational | 6 comments

“Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides”. Lau-tzu

I have been so touched and inspired by this wonderful woman, while rushing through life and forgetting to slow down and live. While I was there to help her work with her guides, it was me that was guided.
Kimspirational

My name is Karin. I live in Charlottetown P.E.I. I want to share my experience about living with cancer and why I’m not afraid to die.

I’m a cancer carrier and not a victim. I dont feel like a victim. But for me having cancer changed my life. Not that its been smooth since I found out that I had cancer but when you know that death is going to be sooner then you expected, than you think of how your life is NOW. You think more about making preparations for your next life and journey into the other side.

I’m lucky that I have time to prepare myself and the people around me. It’s unfortunate that some don’t have that. It would be good if those that are left behind could just find some peace and know that their loved ones are ok and at peace themselves. If you’ve lost loved ones and if you stop and pay attention you will find that they are not far. They will let you know.

My sister Theresa and I have always been very close. She passed away around 20 years ago but we are still close. I know that she is with me and when I really need her she shows me signs that she is there. Since I found out that I had terminal lung cancer just over a year ago in February 2009 I have been shown just how loved I really am. I suspected it before but now I realize that it is not only the people in this world but also the people who have crossed over before me. I feel a lot of support from people coming to me and telling me they have been praying for me. It’s been more than a year since I got the bad diagnoses, but the amazing part is that I’m still here. I credit those who prayed for my well being for my continued presence here on earth today. On top of that I’m doing fine.

About 10 years ago my mom had a major heart event and actually went into cardiac arrest. She had an out of body experience . She said it was wonderful, beautiful and words couldn’t even describe it but she felt peaceful. She said she had no fear and she saw loved ones waiting, but it wasn’t her time.

When my husband and I told my parents about my diagnosis the first thing my mom said was Oh you are going to see Theresa!. It didn’t shock me, but she got there first.

There are so many signs that my past loved ones give me that I know that there is no coincidence and that there is defiantly life after death. I could tell so many stories of signs and symbols that I’ve gotten. I know they are always with me. My mom crossed over almost a year ago to the day and my sister died 20 years ago. When I do get to be with them, it will be a joyous reunion, as well as with my other guides..

I know when my sister sends me signs, for example, as these signs are undeniable. My siblings are all close, including my sister Theresa, the one who is passed on. Every time significant events happen in the family birds appear. They always appear at weddings, for example and we all know what that is about. Now it’s expected and sure enough, at my own wedding, August past, during a sunrise ceremony, it was like someone said, Release the birds. A spectacular flock of birds flew across the sunrise. We all had goosebumps and looked at one another. My family jokes that when we die we will ask mom and Theresa how to do the bird trick.

The morning after we got the news about my terminal lung cancer, I put my ipod on shuffle and the song Let It Be came on. That was my sister Theresas favorite song. The message I got from her was to let it be. Since then, whenever I have bad days, I remember to let it be. That is a sign. That is not coincidence that was really her.

Since my diagnosis Ive gotten a lot of advice from family and loved ones on how to beat this dis-ease. They wanted to fix me, but I decided I dont want to spend the rest of my life trying to not die. I want to spent the rest of my life living. Let it be! Just be and live in the NOW.

I was in Cuba when I was notified of my moms death one year ago. She was admitted with a major Cardiac event and the family was called in. My brothers arrived from New Brunswick the following day and when they arrived with my sister and they went into her room, they were surprised to see her chatting and laughing. They spent a really good day with her. They spent the time listening to mom talk about her excitement about joining her past loved ones and that when she gets to the next world she;d be able to do more for us. Dad came in room and she lit up and they called each other pet names. It was a really nice visit and then everyone went home thinking that she would be ok.

My brothers were to go to the hospital in morning to say goodbye to mom before they left for N.B. when they got a call that she slipped away. She died a lovely death, she planned that so well. In a sense, we were ready for her to go. But I really feel she is right here.

Do I fear death? No, because I see it as progress. When I leave this world I am quite alive. Maybe even more alive.

My two brothers practice the Bahia faith and so did my sister that passed. My brother Jeff talked about dying once. He said, “When we are in the womb we know that there is something beyond because we can hear it. It’s like we are inside growing your earth body. When you are in uteral, you do not know where you are going. You’re not sure what it is on the other side of the light. Your job in the uterus is to grow your physical self. In this life is where we grow our spiritual self to prepare for the next life.”

Living in the now: I feel that I’m lucky that I had my own business and worked hard and life was good. As soon as I was diagnosed, I sold my business and now I have more time. It’s been a year since I got the news and it’s been a great year. I spent quality time with the ones I love. I’m totally burning through my bucket list and I keep adding more things to that list.

I don’t know if I would have done all that without my diagnoses. Every day is a good day and if today I went outside and got smacked by a bus it’s all good because I got today. Every day is special. Who knows what will happen tomorrow but if tomorrow doesn’t happen then today is great. Janis Joplin would agree, I’m sure.

When I hear of an unexpected or a tragic death, my heart goes out to those that are left behind on earth. Those that have crossed over are just fine.

When my mom died it was all good in my head because I knew that I too was going to die, however I was real surprised that I cried when I saw her because of my view on death. What was this about, I thought? I realized I reacted that way because it was a loss and that it’s normal to grieve and cry. And when I came back from Cuba, I saw her laying there but she wasn’t there. There was this body that used to be my mothers and I had overwhelming sadness but that only lasted for the funeral and now I don’t feel sad when I think about my mother. I don’t want the people that love me to worry about my leaving. I talked to close loved ones to let them know I won’t be far when I’m gone but I don’t expect them to not be sad.

I tried to prepare my husband, but I think he’s in denial. His intellect knows I’m dying but he’s hopeful that it’s not going to happen any time soon. He’s also hopeful that our lives will be good until that time. He’s not good with talking about dying.

I want him to move on when I think about him being left behind. My kids have lives but my husband has me. It will directly affect him more I feel. We are together all the time. It’ll be more difficult for him I think than for anyone, but he’ll be ok. I know he has support in this world and I’m not going to be far from him, that’s for sure. We are really connected and I may have to remove my visible body from this world but we still have a spiritual connection and always will. I want him to move on and I don’t want him to spend the rest of his days alone. I think he needs to be with someone else and he would have no trouble finding someone. He’s so great! Mike and I have been together before and we will be together again. I have no doubt.

I feel like I need to clean up and work on something before I pass, so that I am not bringing baggage with me in my next life. I’m learning to speak my truth. I see it as, we are here with an agenda kind of thing and we need to work on our spiritual selves to move onto the next world. I don’t know how to figure out how to do that but I know I have to speak my truth and this interview now is part of it but there is more. I have forgiveness still to work on. It is not something I want to drag with me. My next step is to forgive myself and others in all areas of time; then, now and in the future. As some of what is going on now is carried over from the last time, I feel to do some forgiveness exercises in my past lives as well.

Rather than being afraid to die, I am afraid not to die. I love my life. Partly I don’t want to keep putting people through the emotional aspect of it and secondly I don’t want to come across as a fraud after people putting so much energy into me.

Having cancer is kind of like being pregnant and waiting for the baby to be born. You wonder, what will this baby be like? You feel uncomfortable in this body. You are going through a kind of process. You think, any day now! You know there is going to be a transformation at anytime and suddenly you do and you have this beautiful baby in your arms. This is how I feel, that I am waiting and uncomfortable in my body and getting closer to the metamorphoses. I’m waiting for the birth, for my “new life”. I’m excited for it!

If I could, I would like to leave this last message to people. Of course I would like to say “live each day like it’s your last”, but what I’m going to say is Let it be!

Karin

Also Check out this website. Karin’s brother wrote a book dedicated to a little boy who passed. Coincidentally, or should I say synchronistically, this boy was from my home town.

Kimspirationalwww.thatsme.ca