by Kim | Nov 25, 2010 | Stories Submitted by Clients |
My life has changed so drastically and so dramatically, I feel it is important to begin charting this journey. Each day comes with new joyful revelations and responsibilities; It has been difficult to remember where I was a week ago.
This story like all stories has a beginning, but to decide where to begin has been most challenging. It seems important to include my life in darkness… I think this is where I shall begin. Ever since I can remember, my soul has been restless- Restless and at that point in time frustrating. I always felt like I was late for an appointment that never existed or I forgot to unplug an iron which I never used. Why was I so anxious…? As I entered adolescence, my frustration turned to anger. My inner voice changed its voice from one of support to one of insult and battery. My desire to find a place where I belonged amongst my peers and my community in general in my estimation would quell the ranging inferno within me. And as I searched, and searched it became obvious to me I would not find this sense of belonging so easily. The only temporary solution was to put on a mask, and be the character my peers wanted me to be. My anger met my depression, and around and around we swirled in a chaotic torrent. I entered relationships which I instinctively knew were wrong for me, and I chased after other relationships which were even worse. I never really understood why I acted in such a way. In retrospect and a place of knowing, it was all to distract me from that hunger to reach my divine path and purpose.
I finally came to the age where alcohol and bars were the norm and rite of passage. I took this new age, as another opportunity to gain a sense of belonging. And again I found myself lost and disgusted with the shallowness of it all. I drowned my emotions with the popular cocktail of the moment, dressed as provocatively as I could, and danced like a hedonistic princess. I was desired, but not in the way I knew deep down I wanted to be. Men paid great attention to the me I felt I should be if I were to be approved of. Every night when I would get home from the bar, the more hollow I would begin to feel. How could I ever change this path I was on? The anger and my depression met my despair, and the more chaotic my world came to be.
The lowest point of my life, and the time of my slow realization happened in the same 5-year span. I entered a relationship with a man who offered me a sense of excitement and change, but as they say all that glitters is not gold. We became engaged, as I thought this would bring me back to center, and life would for once make sense to me. My place in this world would finally be illuminated! I had some hope, but deep down once again I knew this was not so. My parents at this time were battered emotionally in the role of by-stander in my roller-coaster ride lifestyle. They begged and pleaded for me to truly think about what it was I was actually doing with this man. At these comments, my stubborn and fear based ego pushed my parents away. What could they know? Were they the ones living my life? The relationship with this man became one-sided and completely dark. Alcohol fuelled our good times as well as the rest of the time. My life seemed pointless, without purpose and hope. I screamed and screamed on the inside longing for escape and unfettered happiness. I cried myself to sleep many many nights.
Then as if after a heavy rainstorm, the sun began to shine, as I made the choice to go to culinary school. The idea of cooking seemed to me to be the most amazing and honorable profession one could ever want. Food was the one thing in my life which could express the love in my heart on a consistent basis. Food was a language I deferred to when words would not come, or I held to much fear to speak them.
I excelled in my studies as I always have. It was an exciting time for me, I looked forward to class, and spent my lonely hours alone in the residence I shared with my fianc working on menus, studying, reading and practicing. I was a woman obsessed. My successes in school, gave me a sense of independence and self-worth which I seemingly forgot I had. I believe the culinary arts and the practice of working with my hands is what set me on the path to set my soul free.
By the time I graduated culinary school, I had broken my engagement, and the world for the first time had possibilities. I took a job close to home, as I had moved back home with my parents and younger brother. Truthfully I did not want to venture too far from the protective love of my family. I was beaten and broken in a very deep way. I gave myself to my work completely. The prospect of being paid to do something which actually brought light into my life was almost unbelievable to me. I relished and made most of each and every day in the kitchen.
Notwithstanding, I still engaged in the party lifestyle, after all I was a chef and drinking and carousing is our right (an unwritten and accepted part of a chef’s profession). The anxiety of course was still there tugging at me. The alcohol and drugs quieted the voice deep down inside me.
As I mended and bandaged myself emotionally as best I could, I knew I needed an adventure; I needed to get out of my hometown. An opportunity came, just when I needed it most (those angels!!) to continue my education on the East Coast- I even got a scholarship! I felt this would be the new beginning I so desperately needed. I made the drive to a new home, and a new part of my life.
School was a wonderful experience. I met some of the dearest people in my life. These amazing friends accepted me for who I was quirky, jovial, animated, opinionated etc… New feelings began to swirl in my consciousness. I experienced happiness and a sense of belonging I hadn’t felt these emotions in what seemed like an eternity to me.
This of course it not to say, that I began to focus on my higher self or my soul. I continued to party on a consistent basis. It helped me to sleep. Sleep would never come easily to me. I was never in a state of peace or serenity. The blazing inferno of my discontent still raged on keeping my mind, body and soul in a constant state of disconnect.
Professionally speaking, I was on my way. By the time I graduated, I became the executive chef of my very first kitchen. This was such an incredible accomplishment for me. I felt validated and a place in this world was finally being secured for me. My love for food and the power it has was still growing inside me. I knew on a deep level that our emotions were in fact communicated through the food we prepared. I was passionate about cooking with love, I knew that one can taste love in food- it’s why mom’s food or gran’s food holds such a special place in our hearts. Its all about the love.
The huge divide in my personal and professional life had now become glaringly apparent to me. Work was my life wholly and completely. Going to bars and concerts and parties were essentially the only diversion in my life- Most unhealthy. My loneliness consumed me a little at a time every day. The only cure was numbing myself with my favourite standby: alcohol.
My life for the next year or so remained virtually the same. Sleep. Work. Drink. Sleep. Repeat. To see the fruits of my labours at work was difficult, as I was regularly hung-over or feeling low and unloved. It wasn’t until I took over another restaurant, that things really started to shake up.
The new kitchen was tumultuous on every level. Everything needed to be changed. I was challenged everyday from all angles. What did I get myself into? is all I kept thinking to myself. I found I needed to drink every day after work to get to sleep. My dreams were scary, and by extension the sleep was never very good. I took on the low energies of everyone around me at work. I felt like I could barely get through the day, and all I could to motivate myself was the reward of an icy cold cocktail me after I got through the day. Truthfully, I felt like I was ready to give myself up to the desires and addictions. My world began to rapidly lose its worth and meaning and what little joy remained. I was in deep turmoil. I knew I needed some divine intervention- I decided to listen to the quiet voice. I figured if there was something important, might as well get it out now. I highly doubted anything would change my melancholy, but I deeply needed to believe change was indeed possible. And again, when I needed it most I was invited to a Lightworker’s Circle, and an angel reading the following morning. I felt very nervous and unworthy about attending the healing circle. I decided I would pass on the circle, but go to the reading.
The reading was at a co-worker’s home, and I was unsure of how to get there. I decided to take a drive out to the house to become familiar with the area. Little did I realize, I was driving to her house just before the Lightworker’s Circle was about to begin. As I approached my co-worker’s home, I was spotted by another co-worker, and I looked at the clock and saw I was just in time for the healing circle. I took this as a sign. I took a deep breath, and with my shaking hand opened my car door and committed to being a part of this process.
There was fear in the beginning, what could I possibly contribute? I needed to find peace and love within myself. Speaking publicly about my feelings was not my thing. As the healing circle took form and the process began, something within me began to stir. I felt overcome by the spirit and the high energies around me. It was transcendently powerful and moving.
When my turn came to share, I broke down in tears. I had finally let go of the control, I let go of trying to keep it all inside, I let go of trying to maintain an image. I continued to cry, and felt love of the wonderfully gifted Lightworker who lead the group, and the love of all the beautiful people in the circle. They held the intention of seeing me as healed and only healed. Love like that moved me to tears once again. Something in me had changed in ways I could not even imagine yet.
The following day I had my reading with a clairvoyant medium, Kimspirational. I was so nervous about what would happen, but more so I was nervous nothing would change. All I needed was change. The angels were listening and helped me in leading me to change. The reading took on an amazing sound healing component which was so natural and familiar to me. How could this be? You are a healer, the medium told me. Learning how to clear and cut cords for myself that morning transformed me forever. I never wanted to be that other girl again. I wanted to walk in the light, and share those lessons with others. My reconnection was now almost 2 months ago. Since that time, I have stopped drinking to numb myself. I have nearly stopped drinking completely. I have changed my diet to be nearly completely vegetarian. I am in the process of quitting smoking and have begun to reconnect with nature. Most important of all is the spiritual growth and strength I have reclaimed. I speak with the angels every day. I know I am never alone, and I am always loved. I am putting that love out into my world, as I know this love will create more love like it; A world with unfettered happiness and freedom in the Light.
This is not the end of my story it’s just the beginning!
Ilona Daniel, P.E.I., Canada
by Kim | Nov 23, 2010 | Messages from Kimspirational |
“It’s important to be lead completly by spirit or nothing… be careful of who wants to lead you; make sure they work from the heart. If they work with the Creator you’ll know. Spirit will always uplift you and empower you… If you don’t feel empowered… if your heart doesn’t sing; if you don’t feel like it is for the greater good of humanity, turn the other direction!”
Kimspirational
by Kim | Oct 27, 2010 | Stories by Kimspirational herself |
After taking the Sound Healing Course with Pierre Garreaud back in June 2010 I knew that I needed to go on tour with him in Peru. There was nothing that would hold me back. The feeling was so strong. I knew that it would change my life forever, and yet I did nott know how much. I raised the money I needed to go and away I went on the adventure of a lifetime.
Peru was what dreams are made of; hillside villages with cobblestone streets; whispering winds; falling stars under delicious night sky lines; incredible rock placements; sacred Inca sites; breathtaking switchback mountains that were so steep that one had to tread carefully while hiking. I was up there so close to Heaven, all the while, looking down at ancient cities with earth tone buildings and Spanish decra shingle rooftops, wondering what century I was viewing and if it was the Incas themselves that currently lived down there… Why did it feel so much like home? One cannot really say, accept for glimpses of what I know to be past lives that wanted to show themselves to me. People in Peru spoke from the pureness of an untouched flower. They were connected to the earth’s energies and they stopped to talk to flowers, to blow prayers into them… they listened to the call of birds… and they understood them!! All was simple, and life was uncomplicated, the way it should be everywhere… the way it was in my memory from those past lives…
Two weeks went by quickly, though, Pierre made sure that we spent every moment with intent and so we worked intensely, alongside 6 Shamans in total; each their own style and way and each just as powerful and humble as the other. We climbed steep mountain tops to do ceremony and sent our prayers out in valleys and in sacred huts and in places where few tread. These ceremonies varied, though each day we witnessed and helped make sacred despacho-mandalas, where we blew our thoughts and prayers in the cocoa leaves and placed them with an intricate circular and colourful display of many different materials and then wrapped it all up like a gift to the spirits and burnt it afterwards and sent our intentions up to the ethers. These materials included seed, rice, flowers, pasta, sweets and more. It was intricately breathtaking and
deliciously displayed…enough to want to eat it. We climbed almost every day on a different mountain and sang out to the winds, the earth, the sky, the animals, the four directions, the ancestors and all others under the creators love and protection.
So many things happened in 2 weeks. How does one begin to tell the tale of the journey I took? I honestly feel that the time lines that we crossed and the information that I took in were lifetimes worth and though it is vivid in my mind, there are few words of script to fully explain what happened on this sacred pilgrimage to sacred ground. I was in another galaxy for half of the trip and for the other half I was exploring the unexplored matter of universal wisdom and beyond. I felt that I could understand what the explorers must have felt like, returning with documentation of another world of things, that could only be understood by themselves alone; the eye of the beholder. The world will explore it for themselves one day. Twelve of us journeyed together in multi-dimensional time and space. The past life connections were undeniable. We had journeyed together before and knew one another’s rhythms before even meeting. In fact, without having descriptions of one another, we approached one another in the airport knowing who each was. That was an experience in itself. Others thought we were bold walking up to one another and knowing… “Hey are you _____?”
Of course when one thinks of Peru you think of Machu Picchu and that part of the trip was a must and absolute highlight. As I entered this sacred site, I first felt sadness of losing one another, the 12, in other lifetimes. I remembered mourning one another and being one of the last to remain. I knew that I would heal my heart being there. The feeling was overwhelming and yet soothing at the same time; a knowing I cannot fully understand and a calming I have never before felt. Whatever happened in the past did not matter. What was important is that we came back together that day, in this lifetime and opened up an energetic gateway that is best described by Pierre himself. Check out his website: The experience will blow your mind!!!!! I am still wrapping my head around it. www.soundlighthealer.com
In short, we knew we were there in Machu Picchu to discover something big. We were all searching for something that would be a key to our inner journey as well as an understanding of why we were all together and what our mission was together. My nephew, Jesse, and I both had visions before I left and knew of a key that I would find while on those sacred grounds. My native teacher even had a vision and told me to look for something that day that was out of the ordinary.
Interestingly, we all seemed to stop at one particular area and there were many signs that stopped us and made us listen to our inner knowings. Pierre discovered a rock that had an inscription on top that from a distance looked like an old key or key holder. Pierre lead us into an experience of a lifetime, where we energetically turned a key that opened up a portal that would send out healing to the world like a ripple in a pond. Many of my friends felt the shift back in Canada and texted me that day and evening telling me they felt I had found the key I was set out to find. The feeling I had was next to amazing.
The group came together at that point and did our own kind of ceremony, where we collectively turned the key with our energy and asked for a great healing for ourselves, the earth and mankind. I left with a deeper level of universal understanding. A light shown forward that day. It was our own light and it expanded throughout this world and beyond the cosmos. Writing about this experience would be a whole book and so, as mentioned above, please do go to Pierre’s site. It says it all. www.soundlighthealer.com
Though all of the Shamans stand out in my mind as great leaders and healers, there is one in particular that I will walk with me on my journey always, that is Don Martin. The first time I met him the group went to his home. He welcomed us all into his healing room. A huge stuffed condor hung on the wall behind him. I remember Pierre telling the story about when Don Martin was a child and the condor landed near him at his birthday party. They caught the condor and had it in captivity for six months. Don Martin’s dad died, immediately after the condor died. Now, as Martin prays to his dad the condor will appear and will bring him messages about his father and also told him that the condor will help him with his healing work. This is why Don Martin was known as the Condor and was respected by many. The Condor does not work with just anyone, as the spirit of the condor was quite strong. I was so honoured to be in the presence of such a great leader and the spirit and medicine of such an important winged one. Don Martin cleared all of us before we journeyed to a sacred area that is known for its UFO sitings and of which foreigners have not yet discovered.
That night we travelled for many miles up mountains and set up tents for the night. A beautiful yellowish ring formed around the moon. I only saw that one other time in my life. That night was when I had finished my studies with Doreen Virtue in Hawaii and wow did my life ever change after that night. The funny thing is, since arriving home to Canada, I have seen it a few times. More changes to come???
The next day I climbed to the top of the mountain with Don Martin. There were only 4 foreigners that chose to make this journey and we were also the only 4 foreigners who have ever laid eyes on this secret place to even many Peruvians. We climbed up to Imanco, the lagoon at about 16,000ft above sea level. I could not believe it when they told me. Of course we had driven several miles to get to the foot of our 5 hour climb. We went to the sacred lake on the very top and did a beautiful ceremony that I will never forget and that which I have no words to describe. Something in me was dying. I could feel it deep within. I wasn’t sure which part of me it was, but it was starting to fade. I needed to let it go. I left it with the mountains to find its own journey. 
Don Martin found flat rocks, that seemed impossible to find, but he intuitively went straight to them and placed them in sequence next to the lake and put flowers all around them. Some of the flowers flowed towards the center of the lake. Though cloudy, they were so bright and beautiful and the light shown off the lake and I watched the clouds pass by and the eagles in the distance. The condor showed itself briefly and by the time I saw it, it was a speck in the sky, but a speck is all I needed to feel its magnificence. It was the second condor we saw that day. One soared past us while we did a ceremony and asked for healings midway up the mountain with the whole group earlier in the day. 
I admit before the journey of the climb began at all that day I was still wavering whether or not I would stay, even after all the beautiful and encouraging words I received that told me that I could continue to climb and that I needed to continue with my healing. I sat at the foot of the mountain and I cried and cried. Again, this was behaviour I usually would observe but would ordinarily never conduct. “I did not know myself”, I thought. “Who am I?” I was really feeling out of it. Don Martin came to me and with a translator he told me words that I will never forget. I did not fully understand what he was saying at that time though.
“You have a war against you. You are the little eagle. Eagles don’t cry. Eagles don’t give up. My father taught me the way to survive in the Andes. He told me to never show my weakness or that would be the end. I learned how to work with the plants, the animals. What to eat and what not to eat. I became the Big Eagle by not crying. Wipe your eyes and stand up and walk with me.
I tried not to cry, I really did, but I think the tears came even fiercer at this point. I just wanted someone to see how I felt, how weak I was and I just wanted to be carried for once after all the people I carried on a daily basis. I was sooo tired. He put his cowboy hat on my head that had a feather stuffed in it, unique to my former knowledge. I had never seen a feather like this before. It almost reminded me of an owl feather. He told me that if I stopped crying he would help me with my life and that I would bring things to me that would make me very, very happy. I prayed that he would hear my silent prayers for so many areas of my life.
Don Martin had more to teach me that day. He told me again, that there was a war against me, but not to fear and not to give up, not ever. I would soon understand. He told me that I hold a golden key. He said it was very important to know my key well but to never ever tell anyone what that was for and what that key did. He said the condor and the eagle wanted me to keep climbing, that there was a reason I was to be at the top. 
Don Martin said they wanted me there so much so that they would carry me up that mountain if they had to. Well just as he said that my left leg (this is no exaggeration at all) moved forward. My head whipped around to look at Don Martin and I asked him in my mind, “Did you just do that?†He laughed out loud and then found my right leg again lurching forward on its own. I said to him, again in my mind, “You did do that you turkey!†A hardy, echoey laughter, one that I have never heard before, yet seemed so familiar, roared over the hilltops and I released myself to this new and exciting energy that kept me moving at a speed that I would normally not be able to obtain at such elevation and such an incline. I kept this pace behind or beside Don Martin for at least one half hour. I knew right then of this man’s healing power and abilities. I knew that he was preparing me for something bigger. Before we reached the lake there was an opening at the top before the decline which brought us to the water. If you were to put a curve at the top of the opening. It would have looked like a key!!! The Golden Key perhaps! I said nothing to no one. Keep in mind; he knew nothing about our key experience in Machu Picchu. I just walked through the opening knowing that like the ring around the moon, I was about to take yet another flip. At this point I was not worried which part of the churn I was on. Any way felt upside-down and everything felt right. The altitude was beginning to get to me and my ear was beginning to hurt.
The next day was another highlight of my trip and important in my own journey of healing. We went to a wonderful woman Shaman called, Don Houlias. She asked me my name and when I told her she said that Kimberley, meant a whole nation and that I was a leader of a nation. I was humbled by her kind words, though I instinctively knew what she meant. I have a lot of people to love. That is no secret.
I was holding my ear and trying hard not to ruin anyone’s experience with my aches and pains. Inside my mind I wanted to wag my arm in the air and beg to be helped, but I just felt so humbled. The altitude had gotten to my equilibrium. I was dizzy and the infection was starting to set into my left ear. I have never felt pressure in my ears like I felt that day. I wished I had stayed in town while the others climbed the mountain by bus. I knew this powerful shaman could help heal my ear, but I was afraid to let go, knowing she had just lost her husband this year and not wanting to intrude on her by my silly ear infection. I had taken Homeopathic medicine that I knew would work quickly, but when she asked what I wanted to have healed, I reluctantly pointed at my ear. I was thankful afterwards that I did, as my ear became the least of my worries.
I soon after ended up with a bowel infection and needed to finally ask a different Shaman to heal me. Funny how when you deny the self, the body will respond to your disharmony. I realize now that spirit was teaching me to ask for help without guilt. Three days of diarrhea, nausea and dehydration will bring you to your knees and takes away a shyness to ask for help in a hurry, let me tell you. “Help me!” Simple words, but so so hard for me to say… at least until that moment!
Off to the Rainforest we were. Wow, when that heat hit me, I can honestly say that my body went into a shock. Going from the high altitudes to the almost sea level is a shift in not only altitude, but also energy. I was becoming very dehydrated in a hurry and yet I could not make myself drink. I was trying to stay in good spirits and one minute to the next was different, in both energy levels and mood. I was actually feeling grumpy in the heat. Usually I am the one shutting air conditioning off and loving the heat. The hotter the better, and this time I was I was out of character. We went for a dip in the pool to find it surprisingly cold. I wanted to cool down but my fevered body was not able to transition to such a temperature. I left the pool in a hurry. I ate what I could that night, turning in early. I slept a lot in the rainforest… and yet it is where I fully awoke…
Our second night in the rainforest is the event of a lifetime that most dream of happening to someone else and yet would think it would be cool if it happened to them. I had a moment in time that took me out of my body, not once, but several times. My condition was worsening at this point. I tell this not to talk bathroom talk but I was really starting to hallucinate and disconnect. For a clairvoyant, hallucinating is normal but I knew something was really wrong. I was not able to keep any water down and things were starting to make me feel closed in and vulnerable. I had to succumb to my fear of asking for help and finally told Pierre how bad it was getting. He immediately called on the local Shaman that was going to be doing ceremony with us that night with the Ayauasca plant. Pandura was his name. He was rough and tough, like John Wayne and he came into my hut with a tea remedy and with limited English, instructed me to sip the brew slowly and meticulously. I sipped it with intention and without asking what the tea was made of. Later, upon my return home I found out through my wonderful friend, Krista Wiaz (the prize winner of the most amazing photographs) that the healing teas for such things were made from Beatles! I was glad I did not ask at the time I was actually swallowing the tea…Eeek! 
The tea made me feel a little drunk, I admit; it made my head swim but I was warm in a good way and numb where I needed to be. I finally stopped running to the washroom every few minutes. I was reluctant to go to the Ayauasca ceremony that evening but my guides assured me that it was important and that it would be the ultimate healing like no other. Well, I agree to that now that I have the hindsight.
The Ayauasca is known by the locals as the vine of death. It is used in ceremonial usage only and is for opening one up to other worlds, the ethers and opens up the third eye. It is used in some cases to rid unwanted addictions and also to help clear away any events that did not serve you in a good way which may have happened in this lifetime or any other lifetime. I had some things to release!! In a word, it was psychedelic! I took it with gusto!!! Immediately, having had very little food in my system and being drunk off beetle juice, it hit me like a rock. I am very sensitive, as is, and could never have cold pills in my system without hallucination so this was a trip let me tell you…
Ayauasca
Taking the Ayauasca helped me recognize who I truly am. It helped me delve deep into the good and the bad and to neutralize the lower self and raise it up into the higher dimensions of the higher self. I have no regrets and I add my experience only to help others understand that healing is a journey of the soul that one must take some day. If we do not deal with ourselves in this lifetime, we must face ourselves in another. If we push down feelings of pain and suffering and do not release it properly then it will have to come up some way and some day. I hope that my experience of healing will happen many times again but in a way that I don’t have to go through the lower parts of myself. I would rather be connected and be able to connect with my higher self always. I learned at my body’s most vulnerable moment in time, that I (the real me, the soul within me) wasn’t the weakness that wanted to give up to the darkness. I was the strength that wanted to go back into the body and not give up. I went back for the others and most importantly, I went back for myself… All in all I came up out of my body about 6 times and I have to admit I almost didn’t come back to tell this experience…
This is an excerpt from my journal of some things I saw with my Ayuasca experience:
Geometric shapes, kaleidoscopic figures and shapes, colour, cartoon characters, circus rides and clown faces, a singing moose, cats, Archangel Ariel coming very feminine, dark places, something kept pulling me out of my body and had a difficult time staying in, saw past life as a peasant or gypsy where I had no shoes, open gloves on my hands and had to steal food in order to survive. All were poor around me and I endured great suffering in that lifetime. Dark, dreary, all the pain I ever endured, deep buried past events.
I saw deep inside my infection. It was right in front of my eyes. It was like a black snake that he pulled out of me that ate all the infection. He pulled out stuff that went many lifetimes and especially all the stuff I carried from this lifetime. I came back up to the upper world slowly but the gradual incline felt beautiful and airy. Color started to come back to my visions and I did not feel as scattered.
Pandura did a psychic operation, smoke, Pierre appeared as a Viking, saw doctors enter the space, I was flying around the room, I left and went home to my house in Canada and crawled in bed, to have my partner, wake me and tell me it was time to go back and that he would see me soon. I felt so much deep love after going through the lower world and seeing all the pain and suffering that I pushed deep inside of me. It made me realize how much I had been keeping in.
I got sick on the floor where everyone had to walk. I spoke to Mother Ayausca and asked her to be gentle with my healing and she told me she was as gentle as she could be. Sparkles on the ceiling and the windows lit up like it was daytime outside. I was a bit confused and thought it was actually morning in real time as I could see the forest as plain as day but it went back to the candle lit room eventually. My partner’s dad came to me in spirit and knelt beside me and said he was with me and told me “No more pain baby!” That is when Pandura did the spiritual operation. He sucked out the infection and spit it out and then did something like a psychic incision on my stomach and hauled out the black snake that ate up all the bad stuff. Pandura smoked his pipe and I could smell different pipes being lit up as if the spirits were celebrating and also using their own instruments to send healing to everyone in the room. I was able to feel everyone in the room at the same time that I was experiencing my own stuff. It was amazing! I heard others throwing up and could see tiny matter of geometric shapes constantly, even for what they were upchucking. LOL. I was even able to feel and see dust falling. Everything lit up like I had x-ray vision. At one point when I flew up in the rafters, Krista was sitting up there and looked like a fairy. We talked briefly about all the amazing turquoise colours that were suddenly swimming and bathing everything. 
The Shaman called me back into my body one more time and then I finally came to into real time. The Ayausca started wearing off. When my stomach started rumbling, I knew I was defiantly healed.
One could say why write about the above experience, but you know, how could I not???
Since my arrival home, I have felt so much clearer. My guides and angels come to me clearer and I walk with my own stuff daily and but I don’t carry it, instead, I send it up into the ethers, knowing that it is not worth carrying anything that does not serve me and or the universe in any way. I am clear and free of all burdens, all suffering and you know, I like this way of living a whole lot better… I’ve stopped putting that war up against myself!
I fly with the eagles now… where I belong.
Kimspirational
by Kim | Sep 25, 2010 | Stories by Kimspirational herself |
Well hello everyone and thank you for such a warm reception upon my return from Peru. I am so happy and grateful to have so many interested in my journey and decided to respond to the many requests about telling my travel tales. I didn’t know I was that interesting really. Ha-ha.
I decided to write this journey in 3 parts. I will begin by explaining how I decided to first go to Peru and secondly about the trip and 3rdly I will talk about how it changed my life. Let’s begin back in June 2010 when I met a Shaman here in New Brunswick who was from Peru, as that is really when and where the journey first began….
Part One:
I always wanted to walk with a Shaman and learn the natural ways; the path of old, the ways of the earth
and to flow with and ride the waves of spirit. I wanted to listen to the smells, to talk to the wind and feel my direction with my eyes closed. I wanted to learn to watch and learn the meaning of things, like why the birds dip their wings as they pass by and what direction they are flying to and why. I decided it was time for me to step up for spirit and to find myself blowing in the wind. I wanted to know where I would land and what seed I had to offer to the earth. I wanted to know what I would grow into and where I belonged. One day, I decided it was time to wait no longer. I called on my guides and told them I needed a teacher, one that would empower me, protect me while I learned to fly and one that would take me to the top of some far away mountain top, where I would stretch myself, push myself to the limit; where I could find myself, and open my wings. I prayed hard for this and then suddenly Pierre came along.
I took a sound healing course with Pierre Garreaud in 2010 that changed my life. Being from a musical family, sound has always been a major part of what kept my head held high in low moments and helped me always
have a tune in my heart. In fact, I often got in trouble in class for being a chronic hummer. I whistled, sang, and hummed a ditty without even realizing it. I was very much in tune with myself, I now realize. I also realize that others were not in tune with themselves and that is why they were noticing the sounds and getting annoyed with my innocent sounds. I was drawing something out of them with my inner music that they were not willing to look at quite yet. Often these were my teachers that complained the most. A child’s song from the heart should and will make anyone see their true light and will show that child just that.
I dreamt as a child that I was a Raven. I told my family that I knew what their cries meant, that one mate knew the secret code of the other, but that their messages were no secret to me. I told them that when one mate died that the other still sang a song of love for the one that went away. Of course, my family laughed and told me I was sweet and imaginative, but couldn’t see that it was the reason why I cried uncontrollably and couldn’t eat my supper that day. I felt sorry for them, people, that they could not understand the Raven’s call. Each message was beautiful and unique; like a mathematical equation, each was coded and had special meaning. Like a universal symbol, the Ravens call was simple by itself but it had a different meaning for each tone, each length, each variation of numbers that were combined with it, that to some just sounded like a bunch of annoying caws.
The day that I met Pierre, he explained about our own personal sound that we are, how we all resonate differently and react differently to things, depending on what sounds we allow in. I listened intently as he talked about the universal sound, the sound of the earth, the sky, the water and all things and as he was explaining how we are all connected, I started to hear a very loud heartbeat. I realized that while Pierre was connecting to the Divine sound and the oneness that everyone in the room was naturally beginning to do the same thing. I was hearing the heart of the group and it kept getting louder and louder and I could feel it under my feet and in my chest at the same time. The universal heartbeat was thumping underneath the floor and it increased its throb as he taught.
Pierre looked at me strangely, partly thinking I wasn’t paying attention, as my head was whipping around in all directions, but also because he knew I was seeing, feeling and hearing beyond what some of the others were sensing at that time. While Pierre was explaining “Om†to us, the sound of the universe, I could see his aura expanding. He was being empowered by talking about sound, music, and about the inner self. I was amazed and taken back by the symbols that started forming around his head and out of the blue, numbers and equations started circling around the room. There was a separate intricate and secret-like code above everyone’s head suddenly. Pierre kept expanding in energy and directly affected the rest of us. Our own codes started blending with his and with one another’s. He was not taking energy from us, he was
empowering us. We were joining forces and suddenly purple and blue and bright and white lights started intermingling with the codes and I realized I was seeing the guardian angels of each one joining us all in one massive, rejuvenating circle of Holy Love. By helping us remember our own sound, the one we knew while in the womb, Pierre was bringing us back to that beautiful equation that we all started with, that unique sound called “SELFâ€. I knew right then and there that this was the Shaman I had asked my guides to bring to me. Little did I know that the Shaman I asked for would also be a professional light and sound healer. Funny thing is, because I love to sing and am too shy to do so in public, I had also asked for a music teacher that would teach me at my energetic level and would understand my sensitivities. I’d never felt comfortable enough to let my wings out like that before; not around any humans that is, but I found them waving and floating with this beautiful energy. The thing that amazed me the most was when a Raven flew by and Pierre too noticed it and listened intently to what it had to say. We spoke the same language. Few had ever heard what I heard before…
What many don’t realize is that we carry the karmic left behinds of our ancestors in our DNA’s. We carry the pain and suffering that our ancestors did not clean up within themselves and within their families before they passed on to the higher dimension. We actually carry seven generations of mess ups and choices that others made before us. This can be a lot to carry and if we don’t get rid of this load then it is possible that we cannot let go of our own stuff that we obtained from this lifetime. What we need to understand is that we don’t need to hold on to anything but love. How do we get rid of 7 generations of caked on soil that weighs down our souls? It all starts at the root. It is important that we ask our ancestors to please come and gather up anything that they left behind.
Pierre got us to lie down on the floor and to do breathing exercises and to prepare ourselves before asking
our ancestors to come do their clean up. This is a very emotional thing to do. One would think it would be easy to lay there and ask in all humbleness for those before you to come take away those things, but honestly it’s not. Carrying others things is a kind of burden, that when we become aware of it, we don’t know who we are without all that pain. To top it off, it takes guts to look up and say, “Hey Great, Great, Great, Great, Great Grandpa! I have a bone to pick with you. I endured generations of abuses that I carried all of my life because you didn’t have the guts to stand up to your seven generations of ancestors and ask them to clean up the crap that they left behind for you. You did some bad things and you left not saying sorry to one person you left behind. How could you? Because you drank and abused your wife and kids, I got the brunt of your behaviour. I was the one that came to earth to absorb it all for the family. Do you know how hard of a job that was? I didn’t like feeling so sad as a kid. I didn’t like hating myself and not knowing why. Did you know I took a bunch of pills at 14 years of age and tried to kill myself? I almost couldn’t take it. Where were you when I was raped? Why didn’t you stop those bad guys from hurting me over and over again? Why didn’t you warn me? If I had to carry your stuff, why couldn’t you have had the decency to come and help my dad not drink? He went through so much emotional turmoil, knowing that it hurt us and didn’t know why he did it. He cried a lot as a child too. He lost his dad so young. What about the abuses he endured? Where were you? You got away with it all, didn’t you?†Whew!
Facing the 7 generations can be tough. Great, Great, Great, Great, Great Grandpa got nothing compared to some others. I had two sides of the family to face all in one shot. I had a lot of releasing to do. Breathing wasn’t cutting it, but once I relaxed and came to the conclusion that I needed to forgive before the clean up began, then the tear facets were released. Great, Great, Great, Great Granpa came and explained that he too carried pain of others before him. I was not only crying for me. Everyone’s pain worked its way through me, even his. I was the instrument, I realized for not only for the ancestors but for my whole family. It dawned on me that when they came to clean up for me that they were cleaning up for my whole family. The significant part of a 7 generation clean up is that they all come. When you’re clairvoyant, you can see the spirits coming. Some literally had brooms and dustpans, while others came and stood beside me and blew smoke into certain parts of my body and into several chakras. Some came distraught and other generations came looking very evolved, angelic and even Saintly. I could tell who had done their work on the other side and who hadn’t and they could also see right through me. I was completely transparent. They knew what I was still bitter about and what needed a little work on. I relaxed further and further as each layer was lifted off of me. I felt lighter and lighter and eventually the tears stopped. I knew then that I was left with my own stuff, the things I chose to carry and those 7 generations took no responsibility for my crap and I don’t blame them at all. It was mine to unload for those generations under me. Pierre’s beautiful voice carried me back to the now. I realized he was singing the whole time, banging the drum and ringing the bells and somehow brought all those beautiful spirits into the room and managed them with such charm and delicacy that the angels were now dancing in the room and swirling around our healing bodies. Wow what a weekend this had turned out to be and this was only the first day. Now it was time to heal Kim…
Read more about Pierre Garreaud at his website:
http://www.soundlighthealer.com
by Kim | Sep 24, 2010 | Stories about Angels submitted by Clients |
I have discovered I can travel in my dreams! It isn’t a myth, in our sleep, the dreams we have are real, energy exchanges. Last night, as I set myself with the task of sleeping, choosing to forego the sleeping pill – I was well aware that I was also choosing not to block the nocturnal visions and voices. Sometimes for me it just seems easier to take the sleeping pill, having been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, sleeping is, and has always been a rarity. Before I had children, I had the luxury of sleeping from time to time, so I value my sleep time even more these days. I now understand, in knowing Kim, that the nocturnal fits I have, body buzzing, whirling images and noises, are actual energy exchanges, as well as energy releases. Not all dreams have deep and profound meanings, or messages of clairvoyance, but certainly there is just as much activity at night as there is during our ‘waking’ hours – if not more. When you think of it, for most people, lying down to sleep at night, is the one and only time we allow our bodies to rest. However, while our bodies are resting, there is much mental activity at work. As I drifted off to sleep last night, knowing I wouldn’t get that ‘deep’ rest without the sleeping pill, I started having conversations with Kim. I don’t recall what we were doing, or talking about now, but at the time it was fun, and just as magical as the time I spend with her in the waking hours. Intermittently, during my Kim time, I would pop out of that space, into a space where I was playing with my daughter, having a great old time, or catching up with my hubby. I realized during these delicious dreams, feeling more awake than asleep, that the night time can be a very productive time. It can be time to meditate, rest, and still spend time with our loved ones, while also healing past wounds and relationships. Much of what we don’t say, or might be afraid to say, while awake, comes up in our dreams. We are given the opportunity to freely be ourselves, and stand our ground, defend our rights, and even do unlimited things – like flying.
At 3:00 am, I sat up fully awake, feeling like I hadn’t slept much, but had done a lot of journeying. Throughout the night, I was coughing and coughing, as I have been wrestling with a cold for a week. Again, all the good stuff was comes up at night. At one point, while playing with my daughter, I realized my son wasn’t visiting me in my dreams. So naturally, I began to look for him in my dream. I couldn’t find him, and I started to grow concerned. I said to my husband, “where is Nate?”, but somehow I knew I was over-
reacting and that he was okay. I knew instinctively that he was venturing in his own dream worlds. Within what felt like seconds of thinking this thought in my dream, of worry for him, I awoke to my son screaming for Mommy. “I want my Mommy!” He insisted that he come in bed with me and cuddle. We had such fun cuddling, that I found myself not wanting to go back to sleep, despite the coughing and being ‘tired’. At one point he looked to me and said, between putting his fingers in my nose, and messing up my hair – “Mommy, are you ahh’right mommy?” I said, “yes, mommy just has a cold.” To which he replied, “Mommy, drink your water mommy, please.” After he said that a couple of times I got up and got a glass of water, having been told that was what I needed. When I came back to the room, he brushed his hand over my throat and cheek, my eyes were closed, and I felt the most delicious, happy, tickling sensation in my throat and across my cheek. At the same time, my coughing eased up, my throat felt more at ease, and I realized he was giving me healing energy.
This connection, between dream time and wake time, is so miraculous. When there isn’t time during the day to accomplish problems, we can tackle them in our sleep, and if we can’t be with someone in our waking hours, we can always visit them in our sleeping hours. But, it seems that if you really need (not want) to connect with someone during your waking hours you will. I was looking for my son in my sleep, and he woke up to find me. Instead of me mothering him, he was mothering me. Our Dreamtime, is a profound time of healing and connection, whether the dreams appear profound or not, whether we remember them or not, in our dreams we have unbounded potential and power. We are free to be ourselves, free of the limits of time and space.
In truth, we are all connected – even in our dreams.
Krista Wiaz